Me vs. UAD

It was a brief battle with an obvious winner. The enemy is smooth and cunning. He attacks without you knowing and leaves his mark before you ever have a chance of defending yourself. I have been at war for years and never won. The enemy even has a stealth weapon. Invisible, the stealth fighter is as dangerous as his more common partner. What makes their weapons so unique is the huge payload they are able to carry. The enemy’s weapons are replenished with just a twist of a button. I have a firm grip on the enemy each day but always disappoint myself with my effort to contain the beast.
November 14, 2010 the enemy notices that I am preparing for an important event. I’m sporting a dark colored shirt (the enemy’s favorite). Before I can even raise my arm to defend myself the enemy has attacked…and just like that the battle is over. The enemy has won again.
In the war of Fat people vs. UAD (Under Arm Deodorant) UAD wins every time. When I leave the house it looks like I have been in a wrestling match with UAD. I prefer “Old Spice – Denali” so I can smell like a man’s man. I have a very important fat rule to share with you…ALWAYS SMELL GOOD. I have to be honest right now, just because you are overweight it never, NEVER gives you the right to smell bad. NEVER! Unfortunately, the evil deodorant nation is out to get us.
So, they make invisible deodorant. Instead of white marks on your shirt now you have grease stains. Do they smell good? Yes, but it looks as though you have been deep fried.
This is another reason it is important for us to wear two shirts. I am not only covering up my fat…I’m covering up my battle scars.
Don’t ever take for granted the power of UAD. It will leave a mark every time! Fight the battle!